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Suckers is your one stop shop for all your Holiday sweets & and themed Party Baskets!

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  • crazy_cures_0008_cc_viagrow

    VIAGROW

    C$2.95

    WAKE UP TO A GIANT WONKER WITH THIS WONDER-FUL NEW MIRACLE CURE FOR WILTING WILLIES. IF YOU CAN’T GET IT UP, WE WON’T LET YOU DOWN! JUST TAKE 2 SWEET VIAGROW PILLS WHEN THE MOOD HITS AND LET THE LOVING BEGIN!

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  • crazy_cures_0036_cc_safesex

    SAFE SEX

    C$2.95

    THERE’S NO SEX LIKE SAFE SEX! AND NOW WITH NEW SAFE SEX PLACEBOS, YOU WON’T GET HURT DOING THE WILD THING!

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  • crazy_cures_0030_cc_sexysixtybw

    SEXY SIXTY

    C$2.95

    STILL SEXY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!

    SIXTY SURE IS SEXY ( WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR IN A POORLY LIT ROOM, IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. WITHOUT YOUR BITOCALS ON) BUT WASN’T IN AN AGE IT’S JUST A NUMBER’ (ALBEIT DAMN DEPRESSING ONE) HELL. IF YOU WERE A TREE  YOU’D STILL BE CONSIDERED A MERE SAPLING, A TWIG, A YOUTHFUL BUD IN THE FOREST OF LIFE! BY THE WAY, THESE PILLS  ARE ALSO KNOWN AS ” SIXTY-SUCK-UP PILLS” – SO BEWARE, THE GIVER MIGHT HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES!

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  • crazy_cures_0045_cc_pregnopop

    PREGNOPOP

    C$2.95

    JUST POP TWO PREGNOPOPS AND PRACTICE FOR YOUR WIFE, AND RUNNING AROUND LIKE A FOOL IN A HURRY WITH NOWHERE TO GO. PREGNOPOS RELAX YOU. SO THAT YOU CAN REALIZE EXACTLY HOW TOTALLY USELESS YOU ARE AT THIS JUNCTURE IN YOUR LIFE.

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  • crazy_cures_0012_cc_totalbitch

    TOTAL BITCH

    C$2.95

    ARE YOU a:

    B-eautiful

    I-individual

    T-hat

    C-auses

    H-ardons

    DO YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AND DESERVE TO GET IT ANYTIME YOU CHOOSE? THEN YOU ARE A TOTAL BITCH AND NOTHING CAN HELP YOU.

    SO JUST THROW AWAY THIS BOTTLE!

     

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  • crazy_cures_0040_cc_redneckremedy

    REDNECK

    C$2.95

    HAVE AN URGE FOR BAR-B-Q ROADKIL? DO YOU HAVE A BEER COOLER ON YOUR RIDING LAWN MOWER? CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF “DUKES OF HAZARD” WELL, THEN YOU HAVE REDNECK-ITIS CHEW ON

    2 REDNECK REMEDY PLACEBOS BRUSH YOUR ONE TOOTH AND BUY VOLVO.

    NO! A “VOLVO” IS NOT PART OF A WOMAN’S ANATOMY.

     

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  • crazy_cures_0033_cc_sexlax

    SEX LAX

    C$2.95

    SUFFERING FROM SEXUAL CONSTIPATION? SITTING AROUND, NOTHING HAPPENING? STOP THAT SLACKING, NO NEED TO GO LACKING. JUST TAKE 2 SEX LAX PLACEBOS, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. SIT ON A BUSY STREET CORNER AND YOU WILL HAVE NO SHORTAGE OF ACTIVITY.

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  • crazy_cures_0006_cc_vitamina

    VITAMIN A

    C$2.95

    AS AN ASSHOLE, YOU HAVE SPECIAL VITAMIN NEED.

    BECAUSE YOU USE UP SO MUCH VITAMIN A JUST TO MAINTAIN YOUR OWN ASSHOLINESS, IT IS VITAL THAT YOU RECEIVE REPLACEMENT VITAMINS SO THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TO BE THE A#1 JERK VITAMIN A CANDY PLACEBOS EVERYDAY AND SHAVE ‘EM UP YOUR OLD WHAZOO!

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  • crazy_cures_0042_cc_putz

    PUTZ

    C$2.95

    FROZEN-UP GOLF COURSE A SOURCE OF DEPRESSION?

    EXPERIENCING SUDDEN URGEN TO TEEL OFF IN THE SNOW?

    SUPER PUTZ GOLF PILLS CURE WINTER GOLF ACHE FOREVER.

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  • crazy_cures_0018_cc_stoner

    STONER

    C$2.95

    IF THESE ARE THE BEST TASTING CANDY PLACEBOS YOU HAVE EVER HAD-YOU’VE SMOKED TOO MUCH!!! BUT DON’T GO HOME JUST YET!!! TOAST ANOTHER BLUNT!!!

    WARNING

    KEEP OUT OF REACH OF PARENTS UNLESS YOU ARE THE PARENT.

    MAY BE CONSUMED IN LARGE QUANTITIES!!!

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  • crazy_cures_0027_cc_smartass

    SMART ASS

    C$2.95

    “PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ARE VERY IRRITATING TO THOSE OF US WHO DO!”

     

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  • crazy_cures_0010_cc_ultrabelchers

    ULTRA BELCHERS

    C$2.95

    ARE YOUR BURPS AN EMBARRASSMENT BECAUSE THEY DON’T EVEN REGISTER ON THE RICHTER SCALE? WANT TO TURN YOUR LITTLE BURPS INTO EARTH ROCKING BELCHERS? IT’S TIME FOR ULTRA-BELCHERS PLACEBOS. TAKE 2 ULTRA-BELCHERS WITH 3 GALONS OF CLUB SODA AND THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD WILL HEAR YOUR MACHINE GUN BELCHING ERUPT.

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  • crazy_cures_0007_cc_virginagain

    VIRGIN AGAIN

    C$2.95

    TO BE OR NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION1

    IT IS FOR MORE NOBLE TO BE YET IT IS FAR MORE FUN NOT TO BE!

    TAKE 2 VIRGIN AGAIN CANDY PLACEBOS AND FANTASIZE ABOUT YOUR ALTERNATIVES. OF COURSE IT MAY THINK THERE IS TRULY NO  TURNING BACK. SORRY IF WE MISLEAD YOU.

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  • crazy_cures_0016_cc_stud

    STUD

    C$2.95

    WANNA BE A BIG HOT STUD? EVEN A DWEEB LIKE YOU CAN BECOME A HOT THROBBING STUD. TAKE 2 STUDDENLY STUDS. PLACE A LARGE SWEET POTATO IN YOUR SHORTS.(MAKE SURE POTATO IS IN FRONT) AND PROUDLY SHUT YOUR STUFF.

    CAUTION: EXCESSIVE USE OF STUDDENLY STUD MAY CAUSE AN EXPLOSION OF PUBIC HAIR ON CHEST AREA AND AN OVERWHELMING DESIRETO BUY A TAKE GOLD CHAIN WITH A LARGE FAKE MEDALLION.

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  • crazy_cures_0015_cc_superbitch

    SUPER BITCH

    C$2.95

    .MORE EXPLOSIVE THAN A SPEEDING BULLET?

    .MORE WHINEY THAN A STOPPING LOCOMOTIVE?

    ,ABLE TO FEAR A HEART OUT IN A SINGLE BOUND?

    .ARE YOU IN CONTROL? ARE YOU DEMANDING?

    ARE A SUPER BITCH?

    TAKE 2 SUPER BITCH PLACEBOS EVERY 2 HOURS-OR, IF YOU’RE PROUD TO BE A SUPER BITCH, JUST THROW AWAY BOTTLE.

    .

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  • crazy_cures_0031_cc_sexysixty

    SEXY SIXY

    C$2.95

    WHOEVER SAID SIXTY WAS GETTING OLD?

    THE BEST TIME OF LIFE IS ABOUT TO UNFOLD.

    LIFE GETS BEST AT SIXTY IF

    THE TRUTH BE TOLD!

    WITH THE SWEET TASTE OF SUGAR YOU’LL BE READY TO GO FOR THE GOLD.

    BECAUSE YOU ARE SEXY SIXTY AND HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE BOLD1

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  • crazy_cures_0025_cc_sonuvabitch

    SONUVA BITCH

    C$2.95

    CURES: SELFISHNESS,

    INCONSIDERATION, RUDENESS,LATENESS & FORGETFULNESS. EVEN IF YOU’RE THE WORLD’S WORST, LOW-DOWN ROTTEN HEEL,  YOU CAN BECOME A SENSITIVE GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT LIES AHEAD IT HE ISN’T CAREFUL!

    DIRECTIONS: EVERY TIME YOU KEEP HER WAITING WHILE YOU WATCH SPORTS, SHOOT THE BREEZE, WORK LATE, GO OUT WITH THE BOYS OR FORGET THE TIME, POP A COUPLE OF SONUVABITCH PLACEBOS TO SWEETEN YOUR MOUTH FOR ALL THE ASS KISSING FORGIVENESS YOU’LL NEED.

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  • crazy_cures_0028_cc_slut

    SLUT

    C$2.95

    S.L.U.T PLACEBOS ARE FOR ALL SLUTS AND WANNABE SLUTS. KEEPS THAT LIBIDO BURNING WITH DESIRE AND ALWAYS READY FOR A BODY CALL. TAKE 2 S.L.U.T. PLACEBOS. SHARE THEM WITH YOUR FRIENDS SO THAY CAN ALL BE SLUTS TOO!

    S.L.U.T. PLACEBOS FOR THOSE THAT LIKE TO F*CK AND F*CK ALOT!

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  • crazy_cures_0165_cc_bitchin

    BITCHIN

    C$2.95

    WANT TO MAINTAIN THAT BITCHY, TOUGH-AS-NAILS REPUTATION?

    WITH BITCHIN, YOU CAN STAY AS BAD AS YOU LIKE FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT!

    JUST TAKE A COUPLE OF TABLETS EVERY FEW HOURS AND LET ‘EM HAVE IT! SHOW OFF YOUR FANGS AND SPRING LOADED TALONS.

    BE THE CASTRATING BITCH YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!

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  • crazy_cures_0013_cc_switchhitter

    SWITCH HITTER

    C$2.95

    DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE

    DOULE YOUR FUN

    PLAY WITH TWO GENDERS INSTEAD OF JUST ONE!

    TAKE 2 SWITCH-HITTERS AND NOT ONLY WILL YOU IMMIEDIATELY DOUBLE YOUR WARDROBE, YOU WILL ALSO DOUBLE YOUR CHENCE OF A HOT DATE ON SATURDAY NIGHTS

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